Kayoh @ 190

Yes, here I am…in Paris.  After 13 hours of flying a little baby business jet through the U.S., Canada (the Arctic), and Iceland we found ourselves (D and I) landing at Le Bourget Airport in Paris, France.

It is still hard to believe we are here and will stay here in Paris for 9 days before flying south to an airport called Tours Val de Loire to pick up our passengers who are attending a wedding.

We have already been here for a couple of days and haven’t actually done anything touristy. We did see the Eiffel Tower flying in, but haven’t been there up close, yet let alone go up it. We walked through the courtyard of the Louvre, but haven’t gone inside, and our handy Metro passes haven’t even been used. They’re not kidding when they say that Paris is a “walking” city (I have two huge, glorious blisters on my feet to prove it!).

The FOOD.  AMAZING.  The WINE.  AMAZING.

The word of the week is Savour.

Today I am finishing up a four day trip and will hopefully make it back home tonight. Standing in my way? A winter storm in Boston, where I happen to be at the moment. Boston….love this town. The buildings, the history, and so much to do. Even the accent makes me smile. I love every chance I get to spend some time in this town.

At the moment, I am a dorky cliche’ sitting here watching the snow fall outside my hotel window with a cup of hot cocoa. Being a Californian, it is a treat to be able to experience the snow a couple of times per year. That is, until I am the one in my dorky pilot’s uniform (seriously, a suit? Can we please move on?) going outside in the ten degree or less weather to preflight the airplane. I trudge through the snow, sand, and sometimes de-icing fluid with the wind usually whipping at my face trying to pay attention to my duty at hand instead of trying to finish as fast as possible to get back to the relative comfort of my aluminum chariot. As I run back up the jetway stairs from my preflight adventure, I am reminded of why I don’t live back East and am appreciative of my mild California home. Once inside the chariot, I will proceed to make myself a cup of hot cocoa…obviously a big thing with me in the winter. Oh, and that would be on top of my coffee intake which of course, is a requirement to be able to do my job

Wish me luck tonight!

One thing I absolutely must address is carry-on luggage. As I travel to and from work, often I board early, get settled in, and have the privilege of people watching as everyone else boards the airplane. It is very interesting at times

Alright, so we now have this new reality of airlines charging for checked bags. That is just the way it is now, and so to compensate, people have decided to try to carry on everything they possibly can with them so as to avoid said airline fees. (I don’t blame them one bit, I would too.)  There are, however, a few issues to think about for those trying to take the kitchen sink with them on an airplane.

a) I have seen gate agents get medieval on passengers who try to sneak on with more than the “allotted” one roll aboard and one personal item. That’s just no fun for anyone. The gate agents don’t like to have to be jerks (most of the time), the passengers certainly don’t like to be singled out in front of a crowd, and I as the observer cringe watching this exchange. So, if you want to take the kitchen sink, please make sure it will fit in one of the two items you are allowed to take onboard.

b) It is important to realize that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE else getting on that airplane has also decided to carry-on everything that they possibly can, and there is only so much overhead space.  So, as I have ranted about before, it is imperative to check in early and find out that particular airlines’ boarding procedure so that you can be amongst the first to board and therefore snag the coveted overhead bin real estate. It is not uncommon for the overheads to fill up half way through boarding, and then the gate agents have to come down and “gate check” everything that won’t fit on the plane. This may or may not cost you a trip to baggage claim anyway when you get to your destination.  This situation makes everyone grumpy too.

c) Just for posterity, I will rant about the non-use of the space under the seat in front of you. Seriously, people, why on earth are you putting your purses and laptops in the overheads??? 1) Higher chance of damage. Starting and stopping an airliner takes a lot of energy which means everything in an overhead bin moves around creating a higher chance of the big suitcase slamming into the delicate laptop. 2) Higher chance of theft. (yes, people steal stuff on airplanes).

On my last flight home a couple of days ago, I witnessed a man getting very unruly with the flight attendants, and at the end of his “I hate this airline” rant he says “The airlines just aren’t fun anymore”. This comment did catch my attention because he was absolutely right! Airlines have simply become a mode of transportation, and unfortunately expecting more than that will only lead to grave disappointment.

Vacation came to a close way too soon so now I am back at work. First stop, Chicago. Last night, Columbus, Ohio.

I have not been to Ohio in a very long time, or at least since last winter (I remember being cold last time I was here too!). Thankfully the hotel van was there waiting for us when we landed around 2am, and the first thing we see when pulling up to the hotel is a woman with really bleached, poofy hair sitting on a bench smoking. At first glance, that is nothing out of the ordinary in and of itself, but then she started babbling to herself or anyone who would listen. (it helps to picture a very drunk woman swaying and smoking in the middle of the night while at a temperature around 38 degrees F)

“It’s cold” “I’m wet” “Where’s my drink?” “My pants are wet” ” I have to take my pants off” “Will you take my pants off?”

That was when the security guard stepped in.  “Ma’am, you need to vacate the premises, or I will have you removed”

“BUT I PEED MY PANTS! I NEED TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF!”

Hmmm, poofy bleached woman must have had one hell of a night to be hanging out outside a random hotel in downtown Columbus where she was not staying for the night. Alone, drunk, outside in the freaking cold wearing wet pants because she peed all over herself. Now that takes effort.

This was how Ohio welcomed me back

I am finally back from a long week of working, and have decided to reflect on the past five days…..

First stop- Puerto Vallarta where if you tell people you are headed down there, they say “Are you going to get the fish tacos? They’re the best in the WORLD!”. Now, I am not a big fish eater, but in the interest of making the most of what could be the last couple months of my job, I decided to try the fish tacos that were supposed to change my life forever.  All I want to know is what the hell is everyone I work with eating that would make them think that those tacos were anywhere near the vicinity of “good”????  I only managed to get down two bites, but those two bites got back at me the rest of the day!

Next- Salt Lake City. I only had enough time there to attempt to sleep, so nothing really to report.

Newark! If you say it with flair it doesn’t sound so bad ;)  For some reason, I was actually surprised that it was a little chilly, and scolded myself for not knowing better. This time of year, it is imperative to pack for all temperatures just in case, but each and every year I get caught with my proverbial pants down and end up buying a sweatshirt just so I can walk across the street for dinner in relative comfort (I am a huge temperature wuss! Anything above or below 72 is just awful!).  You should see my sweatshirt collection!

LA - Awwww, home sweet home. There is nothing better than having an overnight where you can sleep in your own bed….ok going home and not having to go back to work is better, but the overnight is a close second.

Las Vegas- Viva!  Still really hot and windy, but people going to Vegas are always excited and in a good mood.

Fresno- What can I say? It’s Fresno.  Although, I did run into an airplane I used to fly….a really old Cessna 152  (a little two seater). No, I didn’t literally run into it, but I did have my picture taken standing next to it. This was one of the airplanes I used to have my flight lessons in, and later on in life, I taught people how to fly using this airplane. I have certainly come full circle!

The trip I am on now is a delightful mix of cities and countries. I just spent the previous two evenings in Toronto, tonight I will be in Boise and tomorrow will take me to Puerto Vallarta. I love trips like this where each of the cities that I go to are so completely different from one another.

Because several of my flights on this trip include international destinations, I spend more time than usual walking between the international and domestic gates. There are usually large distances between gates (sometimes even a mile or more) that need to be covered in short periods of time, especially if you need to grab a bite to eat or use the restroom (any restroom other than an airplane lav is a welcomed treat during the day!). The distance in itself isn’t really a problem, but trying to walk a mile zig-zagging through the crowds while dragging your luggage behind you can get a little hairy. You learn how to do this “airport walk” over time with speed and grace. The one thing I never get used to, though, are the “diagonal walkers”. You know, the person you end up walking behind who is on their cell phone or is just looking around trying to figure out where they are going. The person who walks diagonally in front of you, limiting your options to get around them smoothly. I haven’t yet figured out this phenomena, but it is so prevalent in the travelers of today’s airports that there must be some link between walking and distraction that causes people to walk in a diagonal. Would it be rude to stop somebody one of these days and ask them if they realize that they’re walking diagonally? I’m just curious!

There are also the people who just stop in the middle of the concourse. The “stoppers” I really can’t complain too much about since we are all guilty of that one!

Also on this trip I received my first stamp in my shiny new passport!  Of course, it was from the U.S. The one stamp in my passport at this very moment is from the United States….apparently I should have asked Canada and Mexico for a stamp. Next time!

These days, I believe you can actually taste the negativity looming in the airports.  Everyone is upset, understandably so.

The passengers, having stood in hours of lines (from the ticket counters to the security lines, to the lines at the various eateries and gift shops) are usually at least a little perturbed by the time they get on an actual airplane.  “A little Perturbed” is only a valid statement if things are going well. If the flight is going to be late, or there is some sort of problem (ie. crew issues or a mechanical), then I think “angry” becomes a much better descriptor at that point.  If a flight cancels altogether then comes another possible hour of standing in line at the customer service counter praying to be re-booked and subsequently make it to the desired city on the same day (hence why I always tell people to take the early flights. If something happens, you will be the first to be re-accomodated and have a much better chance of NOT getting stranded in a city you don’t want to be in).

The crews-not the happiest people to be at the airport either.  Getting around the airport is quite a feat these days-trying to navigate our way through the crowds to get from gate to gate can be quite a challenge while dragging around sixty pounds of your life behind you (I apolgize to anyone and everyone who has or will be affected by my luggage dragging techniques through a crowd..sometimes the luggage just has a mind of its own!). Not to mention we too have to endure the security lines (albeit not as long for us), and the other various airport lines every day that we are at work.

It is usually there, standing in the lines at the eateries where passengers like to strike up a conversation, usually about how bad their experience has been on my airline.  I always say how sorry I am to hear it (I truly am), and almost always the conversation ends with “I’m never flying this airline again”. Unfortunately, after years and years of having this particular conversation, I have resorted to avoiding any line that I can and I try to get to my next flight without having to hear yet again how bad the airline I work for is (believe me, all of us employees are WELL aware of how bad our airline is!). Most of us are very cautious when being approached by a passenger….in a way, we “gear up” to hear the worst  (another reason to fly early-the employees are much nicer when they are fresh for the day).

So there I was, walking through the terminal at my normal fast pace when I was stopped by a woman:

“Excuse me!”

As I kind of slow down “Yes?”

Woman:  “Do you know where there is good pizza in this airport?”

Total relief!  I can answer this one! I stop and have a pleasant conversation about airport food.  Now, I rarely know where the restroom is, I never know which carousel your bag will be going to in baggage claim, and nine times out of ten I will have no clue what gate your connecting flight will be going out of, but I sure can tell you where the good places to eat are in almost every major airport in the US! Something to be proud of? I think so!

So with a little conversation about airport food, I smiled and felt as though just maybe not all airport experiences are negative

Yesterday, the airlines began charging for everything.  The nickel and diming continues!  First, it was the second checked bag, then it was ANY checked bags, and don’t forget paying a small fee to have a better seat.  By better seat, we’re not talking first class, oh no, apparently there are actually better seats in coach class!  Who knew?  It seems that the first few rows in the beginning of coach class are actually better seats and worth a premium price.  Now, I get the idea of slapping down the Visa for an aisle or window seat.  I think all of us have a story or ten about the time when you were stuck in the dreaded middle seat between two people who fought you the entire flight for an inch of the armrest. Or those times when you’re in between two people who definitely didn’t bother to shower that morning, or possibly any other morning in the previous week.  So, on that note, I actually do encourage everyone to purchase a premium aisle or window seat- money well spent!

Now that the flying public has just started getting used to paying extra for “premium” seats and checked bags, the airlines also started charging for every type of beverage on board the airplane- the soda, water, coffee, juice, and of course alcohol (ok, they always charged for that in coach class, but now it’s even more!).  Ever since the new charges have been announced to the public, it seems that everywhere I go, I get asked “Why don’t they just raise the fares?”.  Ahhhhhh, excellent question, I will have to get back to that one another time.   What has been surprising to me in the past couple of days is how I have not heard a single complaint from the passengers.  The passengers appear to be content with the situation.