Kayoh @ 190

Since my job now involves flying to Phoenix and sitting around in Phoenix until I get the magical phone call to go fly somewhere, I decided to ditch the monkey suit in my work locker a) so that I would be more comfortable and b) so as to blend in with the crowd.

It was quite refreshing up until the part when I was attacked by the credit card people trying to give me five billion miles and ten free flights if I would only apply for yet another credit card. When in uniform, they don’t approach us at all (yaay!), but all bets are off once I look like a normal human being again. “Miss, oh miss. Excuse me miss. Miss? Miss? MISS!!!!”. They must get the best commission ever, or I am in the wrong business. Upon further observation, I was shocked at how aggressive and flat out rude they can be to people. I even witnessed one of the evil credit card cronies tell a lady that she had dropped something just to get her to stop, and then WHAM, ambushed her.

These aren’t airline employees, but the airline name is plastered all over their little stands, and so it is quite embarrassing to me. I offer a heartfelt apology to everyone who has had the misfortune of coming into contact with the “credit card cronies”.

Today is the first day of yet another new life. With the airlines cutting flights across the board, this means that the passengers’ options become very limited, and the airfare for the flights that are left will skyrocket.  To the employees, this means less commuting options, a much worse quality of life, and yes, several thousand of us will be furloughed (a nice way of saying “laid off” because a furlough implies that you will actually return one day).

So my new life for the immediate future means that my schedule gets reduced to what is called “Short Call Reserve”. Now I have to go to my base and sit there for five days waiting to see if I get called out to go fly anywhere. I must be able to get to the airport within a two hour call-out. Seeing as I live in California and my base is in Phoenix, this is quite a considerable pain in the butt! (Could be worse, could be commuting to the East Coast!)

I am very fortunate, and have wonderful friends here in Phoenix who have set me up with a room and an old beater airport car I have named “La Bamba” (so much fun to drive it around and get funny looks!) .  All this for a fraction of what any other crash pad situation would cost me.

So here I sit in Phoenix, reading and writing just waiting for the call.  My new life until the next new life!

Have you ever wondered what happens when you purchase your airline ticket online, clicked your choice of seat on the cute little airplane diagram, and then you arrive at the airport only to be given a boarding pass with a different seat number on it?

Daily while I am at work, I observe people who are quite upset when their 4A window seat magically turns into the 22B middle seat by the lav. Can’t really say that I blame them, they thought they were getting 4A. They also thought they had purchased a seat next to their significant other- no worries, he/she is now in the other middle seat across the aisle from you!

Because this happens so frequently, I started asking around to try to find out what is happening and why it happens so often.

Rumor has it:  So there you are online purchasing your airline ticket (Now I know you don’t want to pay the “talk to a human fee”!) and selecting what you think will be your seat. When you do this, what is actually happening is that you are placing a seat request. You have just purchased “any” seat on that flight (you have just bought yourself a space in that airplane), you have not purchased “that specific” seat (4A) on that flight. I have been told that “the company” does their best to honor these seat requests, but your best bet is to check in and get your boarding pass in your hot little hands as soon as possible with the seat you want printed on it. Waiting until you get to the gate just prior to boarding and trying to change seats will not usually get you a better seat as many other people have had the same idea.

The age-old saying “The early bird catches the worm” is definitely applicable in this situation, only now it becomes “The early bird doesn’t get the middle seat”!

The trip I am on now is a delightful mix of cities and countries. I just spent the previous two evenings in Toronto, tonight I will be in Boise and tomorrow will take me to Puerto Vallarta. I love trips like this where each of the cities that I go to are so completely different from one another.

Because several of my flights on this trip include international destinations, I spend more time than usual walking between the international and domestic gates. There are usually large distances between gates (sometimes even a mile or more) that need to be covered in short periods of time, especially if you need to grab a bite to eat or use the restroom (any restroom other than an airplane lav is a welcomed treat during the day!). The distance in itself isn’t really a problem, but trying to walk a mile zig-zagging through the crowds while dragging your luggage behind you can get a little hairy. You learn how to do this “airport walk” over time with speed and grace. The one thing I never get used to, though, are the “diagonal walkers”. You know, the person you end up walking behind who is on their cell phone or is just looking around trying to figure out where they are going. The person who walks diagonally in front of you, limiting your options to get around them smoothly. I haven’t yet figured out this phenomena, but it is so prevalent in the travelers of today’s airports that there must be some link between walking and distraction that causes people to walk in a diagonal. Would it be rude to stop somebody one of these days and ask them if they realize that they’re walking diagonally? I’m just curious!

There are also the people who just stop in the middle of the concourse. The “stoppers” I really can’t complain too much about since we are all guilty of that one!

Also on this trip I received my first stamp in my shiny new passport!  Of course, it was from the U.S. The one stamp in my passport at this very moment is from the United States….apparently I should have asked Canada and Mexico for a stamp. Next time!

These days, I believe you can actually taste the negativity looming in the airports.  Everyone is upset, understandably so.

The passengers, having stood in hours of lines (from the ticket counters to the security lines, to the lines at the various eateries and gift shops) are usually at least a little perturbed by the time they get on an actual airplane.  “A little Perturbed” is only a valid statement if things are going well. If the flight is going to be late, or there is some sort of problem (ie. crew issues or a mechanical), then I think “angry” becomes a much better descriptor at that point.  If a flight cancels altogether then comes another possible hour of standing in line at the customer service counter praying to be re-booked and subsequently make it to the desired city on the same day (hence why I always tell people to take the early flights. If something happens, you will be the first to be re-accomodated and have a much better chance of NOT getting stranded in a city you don’t want to be in).

The crews-not the happiest people to be at the airport either.  Getting around the airport is quite a feat these days-trying to navigate our way through the crowds to get from gate to gate can be quite a challenge while dragging around sixty pounds of your life behind you (I apolgize to anyone and everyone who has or will be affected by my luggage dragging techniques through a crowd..sometimes the luggage just has a mind of its own!). Not to mention we too have to endure the security lines (albeit not as long for us), and the other various airport lines every day that we are at work.

It is usually there, standing in the lines at the eateries where passengers like to strike up a conversation, usually about how bad their experience has been on my airline.  I always say how sorry I am to hear it (I truly am), and almost always the conversation ends with “I’m never flying this airline again”. Unfortunately, after years and years of having this particular conversation, I have resorted to avoiding any line that I can and I try to get to my next flight without having to hear yet again how bad the airline I work for is (believe me, all of us employees are WELL aware of how bad our airline is!). Most of us are very cautious when being approached by a passenger….in a way, we “gear up” to hear the worst  (another reason to fly early-the employees are much nicer when they are fresh for the day).

So there I was, walking through the terminal at my normal fast pace when I was stopped by a woman:

“Excuse me!”

As I kind of slow down “Yes?”

Woman:  “Do you know where there is good pizza in this airport?”

Total relief!  I can answer this one! I stop and have a pleasant conversation about airport food.  Now, I rarely know where the restroom is, I never know which carousel your bag will be going to in baggage claim, and nine times out of ten I will have no clue what gate your connecting flight will be going out of, but I sure can tell you where the good places to eat are in almost every major airport in the US! Something to be proud of? I think so!

So with a little conversation about airport food, I smiled and felt as though just maybe not all airport experiences are negative

They say that every airline pilot lives through at least one strike and one furlough.  I came within minutes of going on strike about five years ago, and yesterday the mailman was kind enough to deliver THE certified letter from the company stating that “due to economic times, high fuel costs, blah, blah, blah” that I will be furloughed sometime in the next eight months.  EIGHT MONTHS?????  They’re kidding, right? I realize that corporate America somewhere along the way has lost any heart (ethics) or loyalty (integrity) towards the “cost units” down on the bottom rung of the corporate ladder, but “sometime in the next eight months?”.  I’m having trouble wrapping my head around that.  “We don’t think we want you, but we don’t want you out there finding another job either.”  Wow, it feels like a few relationships I’ve had in my time!

My next task is to frame the furlough letter and hang it proudly on my “ME” wall because now, I am a REAL airline pilot.