Kayoh @ 190

The mailman was kind enough to bring my certified letter from the company informing me that I am officially laid off on April 1st. April Fool’s Day????  Seriously?

Since then I have hit the ground running….on the phone, emailing, filling out job applications, sending out resumes, and of course, lest we not forget “Networking”. I have almost become a permanent fixture at the airport chatting with people I know, engaging the people I don’t know.

I am entering the end of one era, and the beginning of another. Should be interesting!

Anyone know of anyone hiring?

I walked up to my favorite Starbucks in the Phoenix airport today where my trusty, loyal and always working barista says “Hi Andrea, do you want your Cinnamon Dolce hot or iced today?”. Um….wow. I realize that I do frequent that particular Starbucks every chance I get when I am in Phoenix (the other locations in the airport just don’t make the drinks correctly!), but it appears that I just might indeed have a problem. Or I need to come up with a new drink selection, and fast!  Any suggestions? And, no “Tall Coffee” does NOT cut it with me-I am not truly happy until I have parted with the $5 burning a hole in my pocket. Mind you, this weird must-have Starbucks fixation that I have only happens when I am working. I rarely go there on my off time.

When the barista at Starbucks knows you by the $5 frou-frou drink you order, is that a bad thing?

There is nothing worse than hearing that a plane has gone down. Those few minutes clawing at any information you can get are gut-wrenching. Yet, somehow out on the Hudson river last week while floating along there were many people who managed to barely get wet. Call it what you will, a miracle, luck, act of God- at the end of the day we are all grateful that what was most probable to happen did not happen that day.

As I sit around the airports killing time and people watching, it is so nice to overhear conversations of thanks and gratefulness and respect- something we airline pilots have not experienced in quite some time. On one hand, it is really sad that it takes an accident like this one to earn some respect amongst the traveling public…on the other hand, I’ll take what I can get!

Part of my job includes a bit of PR duty, especially with the kiddies. Not too often, but every once in awhile when we’re getting ready for the next flight, a child will come up to the cockpit and take a look around. Most of the time, they are shy and don’t really know why Mom and/or Dad made them go visit the scary pilots in the front of the big airplane. Usually, I just let them sit in my seat and ask Mom if she has a camera, then a few pictures are taken, the kid tries to leave as fast as they can while the parents excitedly thank us for giving this experience to their child.

Today, however, was a different and more rewarding experience for me. While in Pittsburgh, getting ready to go to San Fransisco this little boy showed up in the cockpit all by himself and started talking to us. The guy I was flying with did the usual of offering up his seat, which the boy promptly climbed right on up and started having a great time playing with the various controls and buttons.

We find out that his name is Noah and that he has flown on Northwest, Air Canada, and Japan Airlines to name a few. Noah is a world traveler at seven years old. He then asks us what would happen if we ran out of gas. We tell him that we have enough gas to fly for six hours but our flight will only take four and a half. To which he counters with, “yeah, but what if you still run out?”.

Somewhere in there, Noah’s Mom appears and talks to us for a few minutes and during that time I watch as Noah figures out how to strap himself into the five-point seatbelt harness as well as how to get the seat to move around (very impressive, took me awhile and this little guy is seven!).

It may not be much, but Noah reminded me of when I was a little girl flying out to visit Grandma. I always asked to go see the cockpit (when you could actually do that in flight), and was so excited when I got back to my seat. It was such a treat for me to see that kind of excitement and curiosity in a child.

Of course, being the smartass that I am, when Noah and his Mom were turning to go back to their seats I just couldn’t resist:  “So Noah, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?”  Luckily, the adults all got a laugh from my Airplane reference and the look on Noah’s face was priceless

One thing I absolutely must address is carry-on luggage. As I travel to and from work, often I board early, get settled in, and have the privilege of people watching as everyone else boards the airplane. It is very interesting at times

Alright, so we now have this new reality of airlines charging for checked bags. That is just the way it is now, and so to compensate, people have decided to try to carry on everything they possibly can with them so as to avoid said airline fees. (I don’t blame them one bit, I would too.)  There are, however, a few issues to think about for those trying to take the kitchen sink with them on an airplane.

a) I have seen gate agents get medieval on passengers who try to sneak on with more than the “allotted” one roll aboard and one personal item. That’s just no fun for anyone. The gate agents don’t like to have to be jerks (most of the time), the passengers certainly don’t like to be singled out in front of a crowd, and I as the observer cringe watching this exchange. So, if you want to take the kitchen sink, please make sure it will fit in one of the two items you are allowed to take onboard.

b) It is important to realize that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE else getting on that airplane has also decided to carry-on everything that they possibly can, and there is only so much overhead space.  So, as I have ranted about before, it is imperative to check in early and find out that particular airlines’ boarding procedure so that you can be amongst the first to board and therefore snag the coveted overhead bin real estate. It is not uncommon for the overheads to fill up half way through boarding, and then the gate agents have to come down and “gate check” everything that won’t fit on the plane. This may or may not cost you a trip to baggage claim anyway when you get to your destination.  This situation makes everyone grumpy too.

c) Just for posterity, I will rant about the non-use of the space under the seat in front of you. Seriously, people, why on earth are you putting your purses and laptops in the overheads??? 1) Higher chance of damage. Starting and stopping an airliner takes a lot of energy which means everything in an overhead bin moves around creating a higher chance of the big suitcase slamming into the delicate laptop. 2) Higher chance of theft. (yes, people steal stuff on airplanes).

On my last flight home a couple of days ago, I witnessed a man getting very unruly with the flight attendants, and at the end of his “I hate this airline” rant he says “The airlines just aren’t fun anymore”. This comment did catch my attention because he was absolutely right! Airlines have simply become a mode of transportation, and unfortunately expecting more than that will only lead to grave disappointment.

Since my job now involves flying to Phoenix and sitting around in Phoenix until I get the magical phone call to go fly somewhere, I decided to ditch the monkey suit in my work locker a) so that I would be more comfortable and b) so as to blend in with the crowd.

It was quite refreshing up until the part when I was attacked by the credit card people trying to give me five billion miles and ten free flights if I would only apply for yet another credit card. When in uniform, they don’t approach us at all (yaay!), but all bets are off once I look like a normal human being again. “Miss, oh miss. Excuse me miss. Miss? Miss? MISS!!!!”. They must get the best commission ever, or I am in the wrong business. Upon further observation, I was shocked at how aggressive and flat out rude they can be to people. I even witnessed one of the evil credit card cronies tell a lady that she had dropped something just to get her to stop, and then WHAM, ambushed her.

These aren’t airline employees, but the airline name is plastered all over their little stands, and so it is quite embarrassing to me. I offer a heartfelt apology to everyone who has had the misfortune of coming into contact with the “credit card cronies”.

Today is the first day of yet another new life. With the airlines cutting flights across the board, this means that the passengers’ options become very limited, and the airfare for the flights that are left will skyrocket.  To the employees, this means less commuting options, a much worse quality of life, and yes, several thousand of us will be furloughed (a nice way of saying “laid off” because a furlough implies that you will actually return one day).

So my new life for the immediate future means that my schedule gets reduced to what is called “Short Call Reserve”. Now I have to go to my base and sit there for five days waiting to see if I get called out to go fly anywhere. I must be able to get to the airport within a two hour call-out. Seeing as I live in California and my base is in Phoenix, this is quite a considerable pain in the butt! (Could be worse, could be commuting to the East Coast!)

I am very fortunate, and have wonderful friends here in Phoenix who have set me up with a room and an old beater airport car I have named “La Bamba” (so much fun to drive it around and get funny looks!) .  All this for a fraction of what any other crash pad situation would cost me.

So here I sit in Phoenix, reading and writing just waiting for the call.  My new life until the next new life!

Have you ever wondered what happens when you purchase your airline ticket online, clicked your choice of seat on the cute little airplane diagram, and then you arrive at the airport only to be given a boarding pass with a different seat number on it?

Daily while I am at work, I observe people who are quite upset when their 4A window seat magically turns into the 22B middle seat by the lav. Can’t really say that I blame them, they thought they were getting 4A. They also thought they had purchased a seat next to their significant other- no worries, he/she is now in the other middle seat across the aisle from you!

Because this happens so frequently, I started asking around to try to find out what is happening and why it happens so often.

Rumor has it:  So there you are online purchasing your airline ticket (Now I know you don’t want to pay the “talk to a human fee”!) and selecting what you think will be your seat. When you do this, what is actually happening is that you are placing a seat request. You have just purchased “any” seat on that flight (you have just bought yourself a space in that airplane), you have not purchased “that specific” seat (4A) on that flight. I have been told that “the company” does their best to honor these seat requests, but your best bet is to check in and get your boarding pass in your hot little hands as soon as possible with the seat you want printed on it. Waiting until you get to the gate just prior to boarding and trying to change seats will not usually get you a better seat as many other people have had the same idea.

The age-old saying “The early bird catches the worm” is definitely applicable in this situation, only now it becomes “The early bird doesn’t get the middle seat”!

The trip I am on now is a delightful mix of cities and countries. I just spent the previous two evenings in Toronto, tonight I will be in Boise and tomorrow will take me to Puerto Vallarta. I love trips like this where each of the cities that I go to are so completely different from one another.

Because several of my flights on this trip include international destinations, I spend more time than usual walking between the international and domestic gates. There are usually large distances between gates (sometimes even a mile or more) that need to be covered in short periods of time, especially if you need to grab a bite to eat or use the restroom (any restroom other than an airplane lav is a welcomed treat during the day!). The distance in itself isn’t really a problem, but trying to walk a mile zig-zagging through the crowds while dragging your luggage behind you can get a little hairy. You learn how to do this “airport walk” over time with speed and grace. The one thing I never get used to, though, are the “diagonal walkers”. You know, the person you end up walking behind who is on their cell phone or is just looking around trying to figure out where they are going. The person who walks diagonally in front of you, limiting your options to get around them smoothly. I haven’t yet figured out this phenomena, but it is so prevalent in the travelers of today’s airports that there must be some link between walking and distraction that causes people to walk in a diagonal. Would it be rude to stop somebody one of these days and ask them if they realize that they’re walking diagonally? I’m just curious!

There are also the people who just stop in the middle of the concourse. The “stoppers” I really can’t complain too much about since we are all guilty of that one!

Also on this trip I received my first stamp in my shiny new passport!  Of course, it was from the U.S. The one stamp in my passport at this very moment is from the United States….apparently I should have asked Canada and Mexico for a stamp. Next time!

These days, I believe you can actually taste the negativity looming in the airports.  Everyone is upset, understandably so.

The passengers, having stood in hours of lines (from the ticket counters to the security lines, to the lines at the various eateries and gift shops) are usually at least a little perturbed by the time they get on an actual airplane.  “A little Perturbed” is only a valid statement if things are going well. If the flight is going to be late, or there is some sort of problem (ie. crew issues or a mechanical), then I think “angry” becomes a much better descriptor at that point.  If a flight cancels altogether then comes another possible hour of standing in line at the customer service counter praying to be re-booked and subsequently make it to the desired city on the same day (hence why I always tell people to take the early flights. If something happens, you will be the first to be re-accomodated and have a much better chance of NOT getting stranded in a city you don’t want to be in).

The crews-not the happiest people to be at the airport either.  Getting around the airport is quite a feat these days-trying to navigate our way through the crowds to get from gate to gate can be quite a challenge while dragging around sixty pounds of your life behind you (I apolgize to anyone and everyone who has or will be affected by my luggage dragging techniques through a crowd..sometimes the luggage just has a mind of its own!). Not to mention we too have to endure the security lines (albeit not as long for us), and the other various airport lines every day that we are at work.

It is usually there, standing in the lines at the eateries where passengers like to strike up a conversation, usually about how bad their experience has been on my airline.  I always say how sorry I am to hear it (I truly am), and almost always the conversation ends with “I’m never flying this airline again”. Unfortunately, after years and years of having this particular conversation, I have resorted to avoiding any line that I can and I try to get to my next flight without having to hear yet again how bad the airline I work for is (believe me, all of us employees are WELL aware of how bad our airline is!). Most of us are very cautious when being approached by a passenger….in a way, we “gear up” to hear the worst  (another reason to fly early-the employees are much nicer when they are fresh for the day).

So there I was, walking through the terminal at my normal fast pace when I was stopped by a woman:

“Excuse me!”

As I kind of slow down “Yes?”

Woman:  “Do you know where there is good pizza in this airport?”

Total relief!  I can answer this one! I stop and have a pleasant conversation about airport food.  Now, I rarely know where the restroom is, I never know which carousel your bag will be going to in baggage claim, and nine times out of ten I will have no clue what gate your connecting flight will be going out of, but I sure can tell you where the good places to eat are in almost every major airport in the US! Something to be proud of? I think so!

So with a little conversation about airport food, I smiled and felt as though just maybe not all airport experiences are negative