Kayoh @ 190

Part of my job includes a bit of PR duty, especially with the kiddies. Not too often, but every once in awhile when we’re getting ready for the next flight, a child will come up to the cockpit and take a look around. Most of the time, they are shy and don’t really know why Mom and/or Dad made them go visit the scary pilots in the front of the big airplane. Usually, I just let them sit in my seat and ask Mom if she has a camera, then a few pictures are taken, the kid tries to leave as fast as they can while the parents excitedly thank us for giving this experience to their child.

Today, however, was a different and rewarding experience for me. While in Pittsburgh, getting ready to go to San Fransisco this little boy showed up in the cockpit all by himself and started talking to us. The guy I was flying with did the usual of offering up his seat, which the boy promptly climbed right on up and started having a great time playing with the various controls and buttons.

We find out that his name is Noah and that he has flown on Northwest, Air Canada, and Japan Airlines to name a few. Noah is a world traveler at seven years old. He then asks us what would happen if we ran out of gas. We tell him that we have enough gas to fly for six hours but our flight will only take four and a half. To which he counters with, “yeah, but what if you still run out?”.

Somewhere in there, Noah’s Mom appears and talks to us for a few minutes and during that time I watch as Noah figures out how to strap himself into the five-point seatbelt harness as well as how to get the seat to move around (very impressive, took me awhile and this little guy is seven!).

It may not be much, but Noah reminded me of when I was a little girl flying out to visit Grandma. I always asked to go see the cockpit (when you could actually do that in flight), and was so excited when I got back to my seat. It was such a treat for me to see that kind of excitement and curiosity in a child.

Of course, being the smartass that I am, when Noah and his Mom were turning to go back to their seats I just couldn’t resist:   “So Noah, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?”       Luckily, the adults all got a laugh from my Airplane reference and the look on Noah’s face was priceless

Happy Thanksgiving! The Holidays are officially here!  As I type from my hotel room in the Chicago-land area, I hope you are all surrounded with loved ones and enormous piles of food that will last for a week

One thing I absolutely must address is carry-on luggage. As I travel to and from work, often I board early, get settled in, and have the privilege of people watching as everyone else boards the airplane. It is very interesting at times

Alright, so we now have this new reality of airlines charging for checked bags. That is just the way it is now, and so to compensate, people have decided to try to carry on everything they possibly can with them so as to avoid said airline fees. (I don’t blame them one bit, I would too.)  There are, however, a few issues to think about for those trying to take the kitchen sink with them on an airplane.

a) I have seen gate agents get medieval on passengers who try to sneak on with more than the “allotted” one roll aboard and one personal item. That’s just no fun for anyone. The gate agents don’t like to have to be jerks (most of the time), the passengers certainly don’t like to be singled out in front of a crowd, and I as the observer cringe watching this exchange. So, if you want to take the kitchen sink, please make sure it will fit in one of the two items you are allowed to take onboard.

b) It is important to realize that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE else getting on that airplane has also decided to carry-on everything that they possibly can, and there is only so much overhead space.  So, as I have ranted about before, it is imperative to check in early and find out that particular airlines’ boarding procedure so that you can be amongst the first to board and therefore snag the coveted overhead bin real estate. It is not uncommon for the overheads to fill up half way through boarding, and then the gate agents have to come down and “gate check” everything that won’t fit on the plane. This may or may not cost you a trip to baggage claim anyway when you get to your destination.  This situation makes everyone grumpy too.

c) Just for posterity, I will rant about the non-use of the space under the seat in front of you. Seriously, people, why on earth are you putting your purses and laptops in the overheads??? 1) Higher chance of damage. Starting and stopping an airliner takes a lot of energy which means everything in an overhead bin moves around creating a higher chance of the big suitcase slamming into the delicate laptop. 2) Higher chance of theft. (yes, people steal stuff on airplanes).

On my last flight home a couple of days ago, I witnessed a man getting very unruly with the flight attendants, and at the end of his “I hate this airline” rant he says “The airlines just aren’t fun anymore”. This comment did catch my attention because he was absolutely right! Airlines have simply become a mode of transportation, and unfortunately expecting more than that will only lead to grave disappointment.

Vacation came to a close way too soon so now I am back at work. First stop, Chicago. Last night, Columbus, Ohio.

I have not been to Ohio in a very long time, or at least since last winter (I remember being cold last time I was here too!). Thankfully the hotel van was there waiting for us when we landed around 2am, and the first thing we see when pulling up to the hotel is a woman with really bleached, poofy hair sitting on a bench smoking. At first glance, that is nothing out of the ordinary in and of itself, but then she started babbling to herself or anyone who would listen. (it helps to picture a very drunk woman swaying and smoking in the middle of the night while at a temperature around 38 degrees F)

“It’s cold” “I’m wet” “Where’s my drink?” “My pants are wet” ” I have to take my pants off” “Will you take my pants off?”

That was when the security guard stepped in.  “Ma’am, you need to vacate the premises, or I will have you removed”

“BUT I PEED MY PANTS! I NEED TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF!”

Hmmm, poofy bleached woman must have had one hell of a night to be hanging out outside a random hotel in downtown Columbus where she was not staying for the night. Alone, drunk, outside in the freaking cold wearing wet pants because she peed all over herself. Now that takes effort.

This was how Ohio welcomed me back

I have recently discovered Trader Joe’s, and if I could have a relationship with a store, TJ’s would be “the one”. Everything I have tried in the Trader Joe brand has been wonderful, and even though the employees are super friendly and chatty, they do it in such a way that you actually feel like they care, instead of just being flat out annoying.

As I wander around the store in bliss (it would be so much better if they gave out serious Two Buck Chuck samples), I realize that I am the only person who has not brought with me several canvas totes to lug my groceries home. So there I am, waiting patiently in line to check out, watching the lady in front of me pack up her own groceries in her self-provided earth friendly tote bags, when I start to feel actual guilt.

My confession:

a) I love the Trader Joe’s paper bags, they are so handy!

b) I don’t own any canvas totes.

Does this make me a bad person? Am I allowed to call myself a Californian? How do I keep shopping at my beloved Trader Joe’s without the guilt? Any ideas?

During my non-vacation, vacation, hubby and I decided to go to Colorado Springs for the weekend to visit friends and family. Quite the beautiful weekend there with temperatures in the low 70’s! Even on Halloween night whilst following the kiddies around the neighborhood, all we needed to fend off the cold was a light jacket and a cup of hot chocolate spiked with our favorite peppermint goodness…mmmmm. Did you know that our favorite peppermint goodness comes in a 90 proof version?  Who knew?

After the wonderful weekend was coming to a close, it was time to brave the airport to go home. Nothing too out of the ordinary, just your basic rude ticket counter lady followed by the rude, creepy TSA guy who thinks that his GED qualifies him to dig through everyone’s “tub” and move their stuff around. If there were panties in those tubs, I know he would either be sniffing them, stealing them, or both. (Notice that I did not say whether or not they would be LADIES’ panties!) So, of course, I’m tired (bitchy), and decide to say something to him when he tries to take my shoes out of my tub and put them on the big “shoe-eating” belt. Not only do I get the eye-roll/”bitch” comment, but then I get the “grudge screen” from the other GED procuring TSA genius. Note to self……keep one’s mouth shut when dealing with small minds, big egos. Easier said than done!

On the flight to Orange County, hubby and I were separated and I ended up sitting next to a version of a man who I can only call “Beefcake”. He was barely past twenty years old, and had muscles bulging out everywhere. I was actually pretty entertained until Beefcake started talking on his cell to his agent loud enough for half of the airplane to hear. I do have to wonder what kind of agent he has exactly….porn maybe? Anyway, my wondering came to a screeching halt when Beefcake decided to “give the boys some room”. I ended up in the middle seat between Beefcake and another kind gentleman, apparently who had normal sized genitalia. Back to Beefcake, his legs were opened wide enough to greatly protrude into the aisle and half way across my seat. That’s my personal space, buddy! I’m sorry, but there was no way his boys were that big, and honestly, with all of the steroid use I envision this young man doing, “the boys” really didn’t need that much space. So now, we all have to take a step back in society and review the etiquette of Personal Space!

All in all, our travels this past weekend went surprisingly well aside from the strange people here and there

Now, we’re back home, back to reality.

This morning, I woke up with a bug up my bum and decided to see if it would be possible to see the musical Wicked.  I have been wanting to see this one for quite some time now, and unfortunately, Wicked is in its last few months here in Los Angeles until the next time it comes to Los Angeles. All of the planets aligned for me, so hubby and I bought tickets, packed a lunch, and hopped in the car for our little journey into Hollywood to see the 1pm performance today.

All I have to say is WOW! What an amazing performance! The venue, the Pantages Theater is absolutely gorgeous in a delightful “Old Hollywood” sort of way. Howard Hughes even owned the the Pantages at one point, having purchased it in 1949. Even if you’re not that old, it takes you back. The music and storyline were fun and entertaining. The cast, magnificent. I cannot recommend Wicked enough!

Proof once again how sometimes the spontaneous version of myself can definitely pay off

Glorious Vacation! I have officially started sixteen days off. Sixteen days of catching up on reading, writing, and of course my DVR is calling out my name. I’m almost afraid to see how much of the next two weeks will be spent staring at the TV!

It is interesting to note that for me, vacations have absolutely nothing to do with actually going on a vacation. My vacation time is spent devising ways to avoid the airports. As soon as friends and family who live in far away places catch wind of my having any sort of time off, it is automatically assumed that I will jump at the chance to get on yet another airplane (this time as a passenger) to go see them just because I can. Now, I do love them all dearly, but right about now I am cherishing the time I have at home, sleeping in my own bed, no suitcases, no hotels…………ahhhhhhh, bliss!  I even plan to actually do some cooking-something I never have time for but do enjoy. If I’m really lucky, I will also reacquaint myself with the gym membership I have which, as of late, has not been used.

Oh yes, and we musn’t forget Disneyland. Of course I will have to make an appearance or two there!

Since my job now involves flying to Phoenix and sitting around in Phoenix until I get the magical phone call to go fly somewhere, I decided to ditch the monkey suit in my work locker a) so that I would be more comfortable and b) so as to blend in with the crowd.

It was quite refreshing up until the part when I was attacked by the credit card people trying to give me five billion miles and ten free flights if I would only apply for yet another credit card. When in uniform, they don’t approach us at all (yaay!), but all bets are off once I look like a normal human being again. “Miss, oh miss. Excuse me miss. Miss? Miss? MISS!!!!”. They must get the best commission ever, or I am in the wrong business. Upon further observation, I was shocked at how aggressive and flat out rude they can be to people. I even witnessed one of the evil credit card cronies tell a lady that she had dropped something just to get her to stop, and then WHAM, ambushed her.

These aren’t airline employees, but the airline name is plastered all over their little stands, and so it is quite embarrassing to me. I offer a heartfelt apology to everyone who has had the misfortune of coming into contact with the “credit card cronies”.

With unemployment on the horizon and the world economy crashing down around us, I have been attempting to cover my ears (la, la, la) and ignore it a little bit by getting out and having some fun. Now, where is there a better place to ignore life’s difficulties than Disneyland? “The Happiest Place on Earth”- who can argue with that right now? So, in my attempt to stick my head in the sand, I have been to Disneyland three times in the last couple of weeks.

Crazy!  I know, however, when you live in Orange County that’s just what you do. Considering that a walk-up one day park hopper to both Disneyland and California Adventure costs $94, it doesn’t sound so crazy that almost everyone who lives here has annual passes. We who live behind the “Orange Curtain” are incessantly mocked for this behavior, rightly so, we are an entire society of Disney-dorks.

So yes, three Disney visits…         This is my favorite time of year at Disneyland. All of the Halloween decorations are up and they have converted the Haunted Mansion into the “Nightmare Before Christmas”.  FYI, they did change it up a little bit this year!

The hubby and I have a new favorite at California Adventure- Toy Story Mania. A 3-D ride that is comprised of interractive carnival games. Men tend to do better at this game than women, but no worries, I’m working on it…..hubby be afraid!

Over the past year or so, I have noticed a disturbing trend, and because I don’t have children, I probably don’t understand but will rant anyway :)      The amount of strollers running around the park lately has more than doubled which would be completely acceptable if there were stroller-aged children occupying said strollers. But I swear I have seen ten year-olds wheeling around getting a free ride! Ok, so I’m not very good at guessing a child’s age when they are shoved into one of these things, but seriously, I would think that if the kid is bursting out at the seams, and I keep getting kicked because it is just not possible for them to contort their little bodies into a human ball, that maybe, just maybe, it’s time to make them walk.  Just a thought.

Hopefully, I will make to Disneyland again next week strollers or no strollers