Kayoh @ 190

The mailman was kind enough to bring my certified letter from the company informing me that I am officially laid off on April 1st. April Fool’s Day????  Seriously?

Since then I have hit the ground running….on the phone, emailing, filling out job applications, sending out resumes, and of course, lest we not forget “Networking”. I have almost become a permanent fixture at the airport chatting with people I know, engaging the people I don’t know.

I am entering the end of one era, and the beginning of another. Should be interesting!

Anyone know of anyone hiring?

There is nothing worse than hearing that a plane has gone down. Those few minutes clawing at any information you can get are gut-wrenching. Yet, somehow out on the Hudson river last week while floating along there were many people who managed to barely get wet. Call it what you will, a miracle, luck, act of God- at the end of the day we are all grateful that what was most probable to happen did not happen that day.

As I sit around the airports killing time and people watching, it is so nice to overhear conversations of thanks and gratefulness and respect- something we airline pilots have not experienced in quite some time. On one hand, it is really sad that it takes an accident like this one to earn some respect amongst the traveling public…on the other hand, I’ll take what I can get!

Today I am finishing up a four day trip and will hopefully make it back home tonight. Standing in my way? A winter storm in Boston, where I happen to be at the moment. Boston….love this town. The buildings, the history, and so much to do. Even the accent makes me smile. I love every chance I get to spend some time in this town.

At the moment, I am a dorky cliche’ sitting here watching the snow fall outside my hotel window with a cup of hot cocoa. Being a Californian, it is a treat to be able to experience the snow a couple of times per year. That is, until I am the one in my dorky pilot’s uniform (seriously, a suit? Can we please move on?) going outside in the ten degree or less weather to preflight the airplane. I trudge through the snow, sand, and sometimes de-icing fluid with the wind usually whipping at my face trying to pay attention to my duty at hand instead of trying to finish as fast as possible to get back to the relative comfort of my aluminum chariot. As I run back up the jetway stairs from my preflight adventure, I am reminded of why I don’t live back East and am appreciative of my mild California home. Once inside the chariot, I will proceed to make myself a cup of hot cocoa…obviously a big thing with me in the winter. Oh, and that would be on top of my coffee intake which of course, is a requirement to be able to do my job

Wish me luck tonight!

I witnessed a rare display of gratefulness and humanity that I just have to share…it made my day, quite possibly my month.

I was standing around in one of the concourses at the Phoenix airport while waiting for my airplane to arrive. Meanwhile, an airplane had parked a few gates down and the majority of the passengers getting off that airplane were military personnel coming home on leave. As these “kids” (they are definitely getting younger, because I am surely not getting older!) were streaming into the terminal in the uniform of the various branches, I watched as every other passenger in that particular building stood up and applauded until the very last one came off that airplane.  I was completely moved and in awe that we, as Americans with all of our faults still have a deep sense of patriotism no matter what. I was so proud to witness and be a part of a small gesture to show our troops that they are appreciated.

Part of my job includes a bit of PR duty, especially with the kiddies. Not too often, but every once in awhile when we’re getting ready for the next flight, a child will come up to the cockpit and take a look around. Most of the time, they are shy and don’t really know why Mom and/or Dad made them go visit the scary pilots in the front of the big airplane. Usually, I just let them sit in my seat and ask Mom if she has a camera, then a few pictures are taken, the kid tries to leave as fast as they can while the parents excitedly thank us for giving this experience to their child.

Today, however, was a different and rewarding experience for me. While in Pittsburgh, getting ready to go to San Fransisco this little boy showed up in the cockpit all by himself and started talking to us. The guy I was flying with did the usual of offering up his seat, which the boy promptly climbed right on up and started having a great time playing with the various controls and buttons.

We find out that his name is Noah and that he has flown on Northwest, Air Canada, and Japan Airlines to name a few. Noah is a world traveler at seven years old. He then asks us what would happen if we ran out of gas. We tell him that we have enough gas to fly for six hours but our flight will only take four and a half. To which he counters with, “yeah, but what if you still run out?”.

Somewhere in there, Noah’s Mom appears and talks to us for a few minutes and during that time I watch as Noah figures out how to strap himself into the five-point seatbelt harness as well as how to get the seat to move around (very impressive, took me awhile and this little guy is seven!).

It may not be much, but Noah reminded me of when I was a little girl flying out to visit Grandma. I always asked to go see the cockpit (when you could actually do that in flight), and was so excited when I got back to my seat. It was such a treat for me to see that kind of excitement and curiosity in a child.

Of course, being the smartass that I am, when Noah and his Mom were turning to go back to their seats I just couldn’t resist:   “So Noah, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?”       Luckily, the adults all got a laugh from my Airplane reference and the look on Noah’s face was priceless

One thing I absolutely must address is carry-on luggage. As I travel to and from work, often I board early, get settled in, and have the privilege of people watching as everyone else boards the airplane. It is very interesting at times

Alright, so we now have this new reality of airlines charging for checked bags. That is just the way it is now, and so to compensate, people have decided to try to carry on everything they possibly can with them so as to avoid said airline fees. (I don’t blame them one bit, I would too.)  There are, however, a few issues to think about for those trying to take the kitchen sink with them on an airplane.

a) I have seen gate agents get medieval on passengers who try to sneak on with more than the “allotted” one roll aboard and one personal item. That’s just no fun for anyone. The gate agents don’t like to have to be jerks (most of the time), the passengers certainly don’t like to be singled out in front of a crowd, and I as the observer cringe watching this exchange. So, if you want to take the kitchen sink, please make sure it will fit in one of the two items you are allowed to take onboard.

b) It is important to realize that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE else getting on that airplane has also decided to carry-on everything that they possibly can, and there is only so much overhead space.  So, as I have ranted about before, it is imperative to check in early and find out that particular airlines’ boarding procedure so that you can be amongst the first to board and therefore snag the coveted overhead bin real estate. It is not uncommon for the overheads to fill up half way through boarding, and then the gate agents have to come down and “gate check” everything that won’t fit on the plane. This may or may not cost you a trip to baggage claim anyway when you get to your destination.  This situation makes everyone grumpy too.

c) Just for posterity, I will rant about the non-use of the space under the seat in front of you. Seriously, people, why on earth are you putting your purses and laptops in the overheads??? 1) Higher chance of damage. Starting and stopping an airliner takes a lot of energy which means everything in an overhead bin moves around creating a higher chance of the big suitcase slamming into the delicate laptop. 2) Higher chance of theft. (yes, people steal stuff on airplanes).

On my last flight home a couple of days ago, I witnessed a man getting very unruly with the flight attendants, and at the end of his “I hate this airline” rant he says “The airlines just aren’t fun anymore”. This comment did catch my attention because he was absolutely right! Airlines have simply become a mode of transportation, and unfortunately expecting more than that will only lead to grave disappointment.

Vacation came to a close way too soon so now I am back at work. First stop, Chicago. Last night, Columbus, Ohio.

I have not been to Ohio in a very long time, or at least since last winter (I remember being cold last time I was here too!). Thankfully the hotel van was there waiting for us when we landed around 2am, and the first thing we see when pulling up to the hotel is a woman with really bleached, poofy hair sitting on a bench smoking. At first glance, that is nothing out of the ordinary in and of itself, but then she started babbling to herself or anyone who would listen. (it helps to picture a very drunk woman swaying and smoking in the middle of the night while at a temperature around 38 degrees F)

“It’s cold” “I’m wet” “Where’s my drink?” “My pants are wet” ” I have to take my pants off” “Will you take my pants off?”

That was when the security guard stepped in.  “Ma’am, you need to vacate the premises, or I will have you removed”

“BUT I PEED MY PANTS! I NEED TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF!”

Hmmm, poofy bleached woman must have had one hell of a night to be hanging out outside a random hotel in downtown Columbus where she was not staying for the night. Alone, drunk, outside in the freaking cold wearing wet pants because she peed all over herself. Now that takes effort.

This was how Ohio welcomed me back

During my non-vacation, vacation, hubby and I decided to go to Colorado Springs for the weekend to visit friends and family. Quite the beautiful weekend there with temperatures in the low 70’s! Even on Halloween night whilst following the kiddies around the neighborhood, all we needed to fend off the cold was a light jacket and a cup of hot chocolate spiked with our favorite peppermint goodness…mmmmm. Did you know that our favorite peppermint goodness comes in a 90 proof version?  Who knew?

After the wonderful weekend was coming to a close, it was time to brave the airport to go home. Nothing too out of the ordinary, just your basic rude ticket counter lady followed by the rude, creepy TSA guy who thinks that his GED qualifies him to dig through everyone’s “tub” and move their stuff around. If there were panties in those tubs, I know he would either be sniffing them, stealing them, or both. (Notice that I did not say whether or not they would be LADIES’ panties!) So, of course, I’m tired (bitchy), and decide to say something to him when he tries to take my shoes out of my tub and put them on the big “shoe-eating” belt. Not only do I get the eye-roll/”bitch” comment, but then I get the “grudge screen” from the other GED procuring TSA genius. Note to self……keep one’s mouth shut when dealing with small minds, big egos. Easier said than done!

On the flight to Orange County, hubby and I were separated and I ended up sitting next to a version of a man who I can only call “Beefcake”. He was barely past twenty years old, and had muscles bulging out everywhere. I was actually pretty entertained until Beefcake started talking on his cell to his agent loud enough for half of the airplane to hear. I do have to wonder what kind of agent he has exactly….porn maybe? Anyway, my wondering came to a screeching halt when Beefcake decided to “give the boys some room”. I ended up in the middle seat between Beefcake and another kind gentleman, apparently who had normal sized genitalia. Back to Beefcake, his legs were opened wide enough to greatly protrude into the aisle and half way across my seat. That’s my personal space, buddy! I’m sorry, but there was no way his boys were that big, and honestly, with all of the steroid use I envision this young man doing, “the boys” really didn’t need that much space. So now, we all have to take a step back in society and review the etiquette of Personal Space!

All in all, our travels this past weekend went surprisingly well aside from the strange people here and there

Now, we’re back home, back to reality.

Glorious Vacation! I have officially started sixteen days off. Sixteen days of catching up on reading, writing, and of course my DVR is calling out my name. I’m almost afraid to see how much of the next two weeks will be spent staring at the TV!

It is interesting to note that for me, vacations have absolutely nothing to do with actually going on a vacation. My vacation time is spent devising ways to avoid the airports. As soon as friends and family who live in far away places catch wind of my having any sort of time off, it is automatically assumed that I will jump at the chance to get on yet another airplane (this time as a passenger) to go see them just because I can. Now, I do love them all dearly, but right about now I am cherishing the time I have at home, sleeping in my own bed, no suitcases, no hotels…………ahhhhhhh, bliss!  I even plan to actually do some cooking-something I never have time for but do enjoy. If I’m really lucky, I will also reacquaint myself with the gym membership I have which, as of late, has not been used.

Oh yes, and we musn’t forget Disneyland. Of course I will have to make an appearance or two there!

Since my job now involves flying to Phoenix and sitting around in Phoenix until I get the magical phone call to go fly somewhere, I decided to ditch the monkey suit in my work locker a) so that I would be more comfortable and b) so as to blend in with the crowd.

It was quite refreshing up until the part when I was attacked by the credit card people trying to give me five billion miles and ten free flights if I would only apply for yet another credit card. When in uniform, they don’t approach us at all (yaay!), but all bets are off once I look like a normal human being again. “Miss, oh miss. Excuse me miss. Miss? Miss? MISS!!!!”. They must get the best commission ever, or I am in the wrong business. Upon further observation, I was shocked at how aggressive and flat out rude they can be to people. I even witnessed one of the evil credit card cronies tell a lady that she had dropped something just to get her to stop, and then WHAM, ambushed her.

These aren’t airline employees, but the airline name is plastered all over their little stands, and so it is quite embarrassing to me. I offer a heartfelt apology to everyone who has had the misfortune of coming into contact with the “credit card cronies”.